Somehow this wasn't where I thought I'd end up...

For all the self-determination, self-sympathy, self-motivation and subsequent self-destruction, I really thought my net shift would be towards something... well, brighter, happier, positive, and all the generally good stuff that portrays a good life.

But no, thats not me.

As my blog title says, I am a dilettante, largely a jack of all (well, some) trades, master of none. And yes, I mean none. Though even going so far as to say jack would be a bit much. Self-educated peasant, maybe. And one with a horible learning curve, and a complete and utter lack of motivation to boot.

But lets let go of semantics for now.

I need a self check. I need something that will force me to stop in my path and admit my character, in its entirety, to myself. I need shame, and ridicule, and all manner of criticism. I've learned, in an extremely hard way, that I cannot give that to myself in self-containment. I need a huge dose of it, a real a**-kicking. If anyone can help, please do.

And once again, its 1:54 AM, and I'm blogging. Some things never change. Incidentally, this blog is one of several that have been started; all previous ones have dwindled to insignificance, most written in a circumstance that now has no relevance. A stupid tactic for creating something meaningful, I know. And yet they are what they are. I've taken them offline, hoping for something new. Will it happen? We'll see.

Post #1, you're complete.

[Exeunt]