Needing something to hold onto...

So with the decisions I've taken and the choices I've made in the past little while, I'm on track to get somewhere I want to go, in what seems to be an eternity. Yet now I'm on this path, I find that there are moments where I'm labouring to direct things the way I want them to go, and at other times, forced to maintain a hands-off attitude while things take their own turn and at a pace I cannot control. The strange game of push-pull-release is certainly one I haven't taken part in, in a long time anyways. I can just hope that, frenetic as it can sometimes get, I have my wits about me sufficiently to know when to perform the right action.

I miss my camera.

Well, that in and of itself is a misnomer of a statement. I can't truly miss something that's sitting right in front of me, albeit in its original packaging (barring the lack of a barcode... no pun intended), yet its a constant reminder that I've put it up for sale, as well as a harsher reminder that, fincances being in the state they're in, I'd better do something severe about them, including giving up something I've been coveting for a while now, and put a significant amount of time and money into purchasing.

So I'm providing myself with a test. For the next week, or at least a 4-day period, I'm going to do something a little bit creative. I'm going to go on 1.5-hour jogs at 5:30 am each day, following a square pattern around my main intersection.

Day 1:

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Point A = Point I, my starting destination.

Day 2:

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Point A = Point H, my starting point

Day 3:

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Point A = Point G

Day 4:

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Point A = Point J

Whaat I hope to do is, on each of these days, all conditions permitting, is take pictures of the areas I pass through, hopefully right as the sun is rising. I figure tomorrow would be too early to start, now that I think about it, but perhaps Monday morning will work. I will then post these pictures, and you can let me know if keeping my camera would be worthwhile.

This is the plan. We'll see what unfurls.

For now, I think I'll retire to a corner and make some progress on Knife of Dreams. I'm coming to realize what a lot of people complained about with regards to this saga. Books 4-11 do seem to have been able to be condensed in 2-3 volumes, as far as plot goes. However, the extent of characater development the author has envisioned is beautiful, and makes up for some of the excess, but not all of it. Certainly not when the same character trait is mentioned chapter after chapter, in a reinforcing manner, but also in a manner of wanting to provide words to meet a necessary quota. I've become quite adept at skipping lines in these novels, though, granted, its not a difficult skill. With 11 stages to build on, one learns quite well.

Before I close, Eid Mubarak to all my muslim friends. I hope the month of Ramadhan was good for all of you, and I hope this period of celebration is everything you want it to be.

And now, I bid adieu.

Home...

So this week (well, 2.5 days), I went to Hamilton for several reasons. Some of it was to deal with school issues, some of it work-related. But mostly, it was to say a sort of goodbye to a city that, in four years and a multitude of ways, has defined me and placed me in the position I'm in. Was it a happy goodbye? Was it a sad one? All I can honestly say is that it was bittersweet at best. I come away with an incomplete degree, an incomplete diploma, and a score of memories. I've forged new, lasting friendships, strengthened and changed old ones, and lost several people in the flow of time. I've gained a vast amount of knowledge, both academic and real-world. I've felt wealthy, and I've felt broke to the point of destitution. I've felt pain of every sort, and been the cause of it too often. I've felt joy because of what others have done for me, and I feel hopeless because I wasn't able to do at least as much. I was warm and endearing, now it feels as though I'm cold and callous. I went in determined to follow through with my chosen path in life. I come out now, utterly confused and unable to see hope in a new day... . And yet, I know that I'll be subject to more change for a while longer yet. All it is, is that one chapter of my life is complete. Goodbye Mac. So long, Hamilton. Time will tell if I miss you.