I was debating on the title of this post, trying to decide between this one and "You gotta let somebody love you...", but I settled on this one because I think it just fits with some of the choices I've made in the recent past. I hope to modify this with the way things are going now, but we'll see.
Its hard to know when one is making the right choices, particularly when it comes to choosing whether or not to enter a relationship. Most times the choice isn't always clear, and at times it isn't even yours to make. Given all this, one can wonder why one would enter it, regardless, especially considering the shaky sense of permanence prevalent in our world. In the end, its simple: it's a matter of personal gain, regardless of what reason one chooses to justify it. Now that personal gain may be for social status, for the want of companionship, physical satisfaction, emotional satisfaction, or any combination of these.
Then why the lack of permanence? Its because any of these factors may change at any given time. The need for companionship may be fulfilled by some other, as may the needs for physical and emotional satisfaction. Similarly, one may find someone better to upgrade one's social status, or fall so low that one prefers a sense of 'slumming'. Granted, there are several other factors that may affect this, such as a need to let go due to extraneous circumstances (someone's disapproval, moving away etc...)
This is all fact and, realizing a short while ago, at the end of my most recent relationship, I felt that I wasn't prepared for anything that would result in me once again experiencing the various negative emotions and sensations that accompanied this. Thus, I've chosen a sense of detachment that I've maintained for some time now.
Yesterday, while talking to a new friend of mine, the same one I mentioned in my more recent blogposts, she asked me about my past. I'd given her an overview of it before, but she wanted a more intimate description. It was painful to part with the words, as they were hardly what one could call pleasant. In the end, after some silence, I said "hello?" She said "I want you to listen to a song that I feel might be appropriate for how you're feeling". She played me this...:
I think its time I made some changes...
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ReplyDeleteA change in attachement/dettachment is definitely one of the hardest things just because it presents you with a new sense of reality. It is (or is not, depending on the situation) something that you can't help thinking deeply about, especially if you feel you have more to lose. A cost-benefit analysis, although a very unromantic notion, is what we do in these sorts of situations in order to feel confident with whatever decision we make.
I've come to realize over the course of time that really, while you can do this, don't rely on it for an answer. Obviously, be smart in what choices you make but at the same time, let your feelings choose. Hurt, pain and dissapointment are unavoidable but consider how shallow a relationship/friendship would be without it. What have you gained from something that is easy? My argument is, nothing at all.
Just being in someone's company can influence your life in a way that you never anticipated. Sometimes that's just the change we need to get going and see things through an untouched point of view. An action for an opposite reaction - maybe you might see yourself going somewhere you've never gone before.
In my view - there's always more to gain than there is to lose if you're willing to look at it that way. Consider that my darling and do what makes you happy.
I realized that I still spell things in French...
ReplyDeleteThat would be *attachment and *detachment.
Take it as proof of my being cultured.
Now...to find my beret...